In the eyes of judgement..

I never thought I would be here to see my country die. Here I am watching the soul get ripped apart. There is so much hate. No one trusts anyone anymore, and why should they? We do not live in a free country. “Home of the free, Land of the brave” my ass! 

I’m a watcher and reader. I admit it. I randomly cruise through posts on Facebook, read the articles or news reports and read all the comments, but rarely do I state my opinion. I have turned into a silent creeper. I haven’t always been this way, for a long time I was outspoken and stood up for what I believed in. I didn’t care what others thought about me, I was who I was… Deal with it or walk away. Then one day out of fear I sat down. I shut up. I grew a conscious. In all honesty, I hid. In case you’re wondering…. Yes, I lost myself. I conformed to the small town we moved to, and I hid.

I thought I was making life easier for my family. When in fact I was making life harder on myself. I killed my soul. I lost my path.

Truth is I’m not a Christian. I have never been. I don’t base my faith off a book. (If I did J.K. Rowling would be my god)  I was taught love and compassion. I was raised to follow my heart, and to put others needs first. I have always followed my own path. Though “my path” to others is wrong..

When we moved to this small community, I was dumb stricken. People looked at me as if I were a spawn of the devil. Because I am not Christian, I am a devil worshiper. Wrong, dead wrong. I do not even believe in the devil. Honestly if there is a hell… I am living there right now. I believe in what I see and feel. Is there a god? Is Jesus our savoir? No clue. I have never seen or met either of them. Do I believe there is something more, something bigger than us? Yes, I most definitely do. Man or woman? I do not know. Do I pray? Yes but not to anyone in particular. Do I believe in heaven? To a point, yes, I believe we go to a better place, a place of peace until it is time for our next journey. A place where we can see our loved ones once more, a place of true love. I call upon the gods and goddesses when I need help, though not any particular one. The Lord and lady have helped guide me through from rough times. The earth is my mother, the sun my father. Does this make me a bad person? No.

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I have been so scared of being myself since I’ve moved here, that I lost myself. Why? I am afraid of being persecuted by this small town. A place that I love. A community I love being a part of. But the fear of them finding out my beliefs took over and I shut up. Afraid of the hate. I am scared my children will be out casted. I am afraid I will no longer be respected, me or my family. Will i lose the friendships I’ve made due to my “religious” beliefs? It’s a deep fear I’ve never experienced.

I personally don’t care what your religion is. I love with no boundaries. If you live your life by the word of God… Awesome. I see no fault in anyone. Good people are good people…. No matter who they pray or don’t pray to. I see a person’s heart, not their religion.

That brings me to the point of this blog…

I am sitting here watching my friends fight, as I quietly support them. A fight I should be fighting, but I allowed fear to take over.

This past month so much has happened in this small community. Living in North Carolina one of the big topics is the HB2 bill. One I am strongly against. It is based on bigotry, racism and shame. Every person should have the same rights as another. Are people really that ignorant?

My friend Melissa, a Democrat, went and spoke at a Republican meeting about this bill. If you’re interested read about it here…  http://bit.ly/1SZpKFc A Bernie Sanders supporter waded into what might have been seen as enemy territory last night at Shatley Springs…

Melissa is my voice, the voice of many. She is taking a stand against this stupid bill. I am honored that she is a part of my “framily”.

Over this past week there has been a big issue in this small town. Our elected officials have place “In God we trust” on our government buildings. Now this not a Christian issue. The issue is that they used tax payers money to do it. I am going to steal the words of my good friend Cassondra Greer……..

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“Let me Begin by saying, this is not an attack on Christianity. I do not judge or discriminate against anyone because of their beliefs. I do not believe you are wrong. You have the right to freedom of religion, just as I have the right to freedom from it. It is not my right to say your beliefs are wrong and it is not your right to say mine are. However, Christianity does not represent everyone in this county. But more importantly, $2,500 of taxpayer money being used for idolatry was completely absurd when there are human beings, our neighbors, who are homeless and penniless. It is blatantly disrespectful and a slap in the face to the residents of Ashe to spend OUR tax dollars on showiness and greed simply to push an agenda that everyone does not agree with. These words will only further divide our small County when we should be coming together despite our differences. This is not just a protest against this unnecessary cost to taxpayers but also an attempt to show that there is diversity in Ashe County and that those minorities deserve a voice, too. I want to give people a chance for their voice to be heard because far too often people who go against the majority are silenced and bullied into submission. This is unacceptable and we must speak out if we wish to be heard. I would just like to say, many times today others have said to me “I will pray for you”. My request is this… Instead send those prayers to your God for our brothers and sisters who are less fortunate. Those who go to bed hungry, those without a home and those whose homes are filled with hate. Pray for those who are told to stay silent or are bullied when speaking out against inequality. But, above all else, pray for our brothers and sisters who are discriminated on a daily basis. They need your prayers, well wishes, and positive energy more than I. And finally, please donate to local charities, help out your neighbors, and stop judging them.”

Wise words from a very wise woman. She took it upon herself to start a action against this. (I can’t begin to tell you how very proud I am). Here are some photos by Cassondra of others that took part.

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I’m done with my silence.

It’s not about “God”… It’s not about ” Christianity…  It’s about people’s rights. It’s about separation of church and state. It’s about this country and its people. It’s about equality, freedom and love. Stop the hatred!

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Yes, this may offend you…. God?

Rant coming….. May offend some…

I live in North Carolina, middle of the bible belt…. where everyone wants to “save” someone. I am not Christian, was not raised Christian. I will admit I know very little about Christianity. I have some incredible friends that are Christians, I have pagan, atheist, and Catholic friends. I do not judge…. never have, never will.

I believe what I see, what I feel…

I have not yet met…. God, Buddha, Pan, Isis, or any God you may follow. I look at life simply. I am here til it’s my time to go. Everything I do, feel or say is what is meant to be. We are all here for a reason, and everyone’s reason is different. I follow my heart. I regret nothing.

It’s hard living in a Christian community, but I love each and every minute of it. Recently I saw this meme on Facebook, (not sure if it is a true statement) though it really hit home on my feelings…

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So why do some people think I am a “bad” person cause I don’t go to church or believe in God?

I am very spiritual, I love with all I have, I give all I can and treat others with respect. I am a good person. So why don’t everyone see that? Why does it matter if I go to church every Sunday? Who am I hurting by allowing my children to find their own path? My children aren’t going to grow up the spawn of the devil cause they don’t go to church. I’m not going to teach your children to worship the devil (I don’t believe in him anyway).  I just don’t get why it matters so much?

It’s like music. I don’t care if the song is about God…. I love Christmas music, I’m not mad cause it talks about baby Jesus. They are words, they are stories…. I don’t care. When someone says to me “I’ll pray for you, or you’re in my prayers”, I thank them cause honestly I can use all I can get.

We are ALL “made” the same. We have different color skin, eyes and hair. We are all different sizes, we are comfortable in different clothes, we live in different sized homes, we eat different, we talk different. But inside we are all made up of the same stuff.

Are you Christian? …….. I love you
Are you gay, lesbian, transgender? ……. I love you
Are you too skinny, or to fat? …… I love you

Does it really matter what religion you are?

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So you ask… who is God to me? The sun, the moon, the oceans, the forests, the land I walk on. He/She is a glorious wonder known not to man, but to the heart. It’s the air I breathe, the ground beneath me, the incredible scenery I see with my eyes…. it’s everything.

Is it not how and what I teach my children….. respect, loyalty, honor…. that is seen, it’s that they don’t go to Sunday school. It kills my soul. It hurts.